By Naomi Owen
Ivan was born on the 212th day of the 5123 year, in the Northos cluster. He was delivered on time, although there were some problems with his extraction from the incubator as his umbilical cord was twisted around his feet and torso. He was raised, as many galactic children were, mostly on his parents’ ship, a 200 series model of the PristineSpaceWear StarHopper, named Alabastros7. Not having a home planet never bothered Ivan; he loved his ship and knew that she could do just about anything if you knew how to work with her, which he did by the time he was 10. He found planets suffocating, and preferred not to be on solid ground for long periods of time. This was just one thing that made Ivan the most legendary space pirate of the 52nd century.
But I'm getting ahead of myself.
Ivan’s father was an academic. He studied archain technology, and frequently started new passion projects as add ons to Alabastros7. Very conveniently, he also fostered a passion for tinkering, experimenting and critical thinking in his young son. His mother, on the other hand, was an interspace politician, wickedly witty, classically charming, and undeniably beautiful. Ivan's mother taught him poise and manners, how to fit in almost anywhere, and made him dangerously persuasive.
Due to his mother’s work, Ivan spent the first 10 years of his life homeschooled and he excelled in nearly every subject. But time travel is expensive and even in space there are never enough hours of daylight. They determined that setting up a home base on Raonar, a densely populated rain forest planet known for its technical advances in magnetic mechanics would be best for their son's development. Ivan had never had any real long lasting friendships, but he fit right in at school. He quickly became an active member of the student body as class president and captain of the Thezrac race team. It was the team that suffered most when Ivan dropped out of high school and they promptly lost their standing in the major league rankings.
His leave from school came as no surprise; although he was top of all his classes, he hardly ever attended. Nonetheless it was just months before his official departure from school that he was involved in a terrible accident while away at a race tournament. It was the semi-finals, and just before Ivan and his therac, Zero, took to the starting line, someone dusted the creature's blinkers with an acidic power, causing it to slowly grow irritated and lose vision throughout the course of the race. Unable to keep the struggling animal under control, Ivan was tossed from its back and shattered his right leg. Although doctors offered him bone-enhancement treatment, he opted for a bionic replacement and wore his scar proudly.
It was obvious from then on that Ivan was completely independent and remarkably unpredictable. The only place he ever showed up on time for was his shift at Nebula’s Burgers and Fries three days a week as a busboy. And that is where he met Ally Proudwing. The two were an immediate hit, and practically inseparable from that day forward. It's easy to imagine how exactly they got to be where they are now. I’ve heard they broke into Starbase 227 and stole a vial of limitless luck. Someone told me they blackmailed the Empress of Hurev for unwavering protection. There are some who say they aren't even real. I say those people are terribly pessimistic but it's also true that no one is immune to the time-warping void of a black hole.
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